Yes, today is different than all the days before. She seems distant. The date is November 10, 2016.
I’ve settled into my job as home care provider. This morning, before he went to work, Honey helped me get mom downstairs to the kitchen. After he left for work, I fixed her favorite breakfast. Two waffles and a fried egg. She drank all of her juice down. We chatted and she wondered out loud “why was she so weak”. I honestly didn’t know. I told her maybe, it was because I didn’t get her downstairs yesterday. We both agreed that she should come downstairs at least twice a day.
After breakfast it was time to get her into the shower. When that was finished, I blow dry and styled her hair and gave her a Clarisonic facial. She loves to be pampered. She asked me if my older sister would know how to do all of this. I reassured her that Cherri would be just fine.
Fixed her a hotdog and some cottage cheese for lunch. And now she’s laying down for her afternoon nap. I pull the shades on both of her windows, and turned off the bedside table lamp. I covered her up and teased her that she was becoming a “old lady right in front of me”. That made her smile. Making sure the little space heater was on, I tiptoed out of the room and gently shut her door.
Here I am, sitting on the front porch swing. The sun is bright and warm. The temperature is almost 70°. Yes, warm for November, but I’ll take it. Where do I go from here? How long does it take? I don’t really even know the question that I’m asking. Will I always have this peaceful feeling? Will I always be able to care for her, the way that she needs to be taken care of? One thing that I know for certain, is this. This exact moment in time, I am where I’m supposed to be. I wouldn’t change this day for the world. You are growing old right before my very eyes, and I am cherishing every moment that I have with you mom.