To “admit” that “I” woke up cranky is a lot. However for me, to be “honest” is easy. Which is the opposite of most people.
So, it’s almost 5 o’clock and I woke up with my ankle hurting. Then, I had to decide if I was going to take my thyroid medication or my pain pill first. I was cranky.￼
My ice bag had leaked all over my beautiful bright red bed pillows that my ankle was propped up on. The pillow was wet from the ice bag water and then that wet die bled onto my ivory comforter.￼ The comforter needed to be taken off my bed, “spray n wash” and thrown into the washing machine first thing this morning. I didn’t want my beautiful ivory comforter to be stained.￼ I had to allow Honey to do it for me. I try not to give too many instructions but I wanted it loaded into my washing machine a precise way.￼￼ Cranky beans.
Speaking of “beans”, I text him for a cup of coffee. Cinnamon.￼ He responds rather quickly and says “OK”￼. I wait 10 whole minutes sitting in bed, wishing that I could get my own coffee. After another text, he shows up with a smile on his face and a servants heart. I try not to show my crankiness.
Thinking back on the last 10 days, and all that has transpired, has encouraged me to write.
He ties a white garbage sack around my leg and ankle and helps me into the hot bubble bath waiting for me.￼ Then, after I’m done bathing, he helps me to get out and dry off. I am appreciative but would rather do this by myself.￼
I get dressed on my own. With some maneuvering and skill, I’m able to brush my teeth, put my make up on,￼ do my hair and get ready for work.￼ It would be so easy to “call off” of work. I have a great excuse.￼
I make it to the end of the hallway, which is the top of the stairs with my scooter. He is there to watch me, to assure I don’t fall.￼￼￼ I am off of my scooter and going down the stairs on my bottom. Taking one step at a time until I get to the landing￼. He has my scooter waiting there for me and helps me back on. ￼ I realize how much easier life would be, if we had purchased a ranch style home 32 years ago.￼
Life will not be easy for the next two -three months. Simple tasks like using the restroom takes time. I am not able to sweep and mop my kitchen and three bathrooms.￼ I am not able to vacuum or dust. I haven’t tried cooking yet but I’m sure eventually with some challenges, I will be able to make a simple dish￼. For the last 10 days other people have been cooking. Friends and family have brought food. I am surrounded with kindness and love. Allowing others to do for me is humbling. I am not a lazy person so resting is a challenge. ￼￼￼
I said the other day that I wish I could go back to that day. I would have slowed down and not been in a hurry. I would’ve taken my time.￼ I have Thanksgiving coming up and Christmas. I have much to do. I have trees to decorate, presents to shop for and cinnamon rolls to bake.￼ I have much to do. I don’t have time for this.
Isn’t that how life is? Hindsight is always 20/20. ￼￼￼ I am learning patience more than ever. Now I am learning the meaning of rest. I’m learning how to allow others to do for me. I’m realizing that what doesn’t get done, will be OK. I will shop online. I will find tasks that I’m able to do, like sitting in my bed and wrapping presents or folding laundry. Maybe I will learn how to make cinnamon rolls while sitting at the dining room table instead of standing.￼￼
I hope to look back on this Christmas season with the best of memories.￼￼ The house may not be cleaned the way I clean it, the trees may not be decorated the way I would decorate them. Maybe I won’t bake as many cookies as I have in the past. But I will appreciate family and friends stopping in and helping￼ out. I have already had so many great conversations with friends who’ve brought meals and desserts.
Falling and breaking my ankle on that fateful Sunday might have been exactly what I needed to slow me down. And eventually the pain will go away and so will my crankiness. One thing that will always remain is my love for life. My love for my family and friends. My love for a sweet husband who is bending over backwards to make this new life easy.￼￼ Just realized that writing has helped and I’m no longer cranky.￼
This is going to be a beautiful day. And yes, it’s Wednesday. ￼